Ways to Amuse a Dog

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by ApplePeaches (If the zone bbs was a drug, I'd need rehab.) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 0:58:42

I decided that I want a dog. I didn't know how I would go about getting
one as I couldn't look at pictures of dogs online. I asked my zone friend
Rat what kind of dog I should get.
"Follow your heart," he said, "think about what kind of dogs you like and
consider your lifestyle. Do you like big or small dogs? Do you like dogs that
shed? Do you want a dog that will sit next to you while you watch TV or a
hyper one? These are all the things you have to consider."
"I will go with a poodle," I told him.
The next day I went online to look at breeders in my area. I walked in, and
a poodle came running up to me. He was attached to me already. I
couldn't pass him up. I paid for him and decided to name him Cody. I
couldn't post pictures to the zone, so I just told everyone about him. Now
I wanted to think of ways to amuse him. I knew I needed to get creative.
I played nursery rhymes on youtube. He liked that; I could tell because his
tail was wagging nonstop. I also banged a pot with a wooden spoon. That
scared him, but I kept doing it, and he learned to tolerate it. I then went
around the back of the house, came back around front, and rang the
doorbell. He started barking. I didn't open the door; I went around the
back and went inside. These tricks amused him. Cody followed me
everywhere. He never left my side.

Post 2 by VioletBlue (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 2:44:27

This just makes my blood pressure go through the roof! Why the hell did I click on it?

Post 3 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 3:40:07

lmao! I...man...

Post 4 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 9:50:07

This makes me realize just how fine the line is, between amuse and traumatize. LOL

Post 5 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 15:07:13

Um, no, just no, on every single level, no. Literally all of the levels. On
treatment of dogs, on dog choice, on reasons for getting a dog, on naming the
dog, on how to entertain the dog, all of them. No.

Post 6 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 15:08:36

now now, cody. Isn't it great to have a female stalker? Roll over, so she can rub your belly, now.

Post 7 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 15:23:42

Apple, if all this is true, it only proves you should not be a dog owner.

Post 8 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 15:26:22

Is this real? Or, have we entered: "The Twilight Zone?" Pun intended!
Dear Apple person, are you getting any therapy? I'm serious.
Blessings,
Sarah

Post 9 by Voyager (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 16:07:44

There's a typo in the title of this post. The M should be a B.

Post 10 by Shepherdwolf (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 16:12:43

This is either really tongue-and-cheek humour to see what you'll do, or it makes me fear for a poor dog.

Post 11 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 22:53:04

Holy sweet mother of Mercy. agree with post two. why the flaming hell did I click on this waste of board space?

Post 12 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 22:55:06

And, there's no dog named Cody. She's just doing what she always does.

Post 13 by ApplePeaches (If the zone bbs was a drug, I'd need rehab.) on Sunday, 17-Jan-2016 23:14:10

Haha this is made up; was just writing a story. Cody, I'm not trying to flirt
with you again. I know someone who had a dog named Cody. I like that
name for a dog; it has nothing to do with you. And the title wasn't a typo.

Post 14 by contradiction (aww, I always knew my opinion mattered to you!) on Monday, 18-Jan-2016 3:52:47

Apple, I'll say this once and once only.
This
is
not
funny.

Post 15 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 18-Jan-2016 9:57:18

Ok, as an author, I feel I should explain something. When you're writing a
story, you have to make sure your audience knows its a story. And the whole
name thing is just tasteless. You get banned for stalking a guy, and soon after
coming back you post something like this? That's either incredibly tasteless, or
incredibly dumb.

Post 16 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Monday, 18-Jan-2016 19:28:07

this doesn't even accurately portray dog behavior. what a fat load of shite!

Post 17 by Shepherdwolf (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 18-Jan-2016 20:00:20

This is writer's block, which is where stories belong.
It's also clearly fantasy, since obviously dogs and most people don't act this way.
So it's an awful, pointless story that wasted foorty-odd seconds of my life, and the dog's name is in bad taste...but again, it's a sad attempt at humour. I was pretty sure of it as soon as I read it.
And she's free to do it, that's the tough part. Just ignore it unless it breaks the rules.

Post 18 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Monday, 18-Jan-2016 22:37:05

Ok, I should have known better because of this:
The next day I went online to look at breeders in my area. I walked in, and
a poodle came running up to me. He was attached to me already.

Now, if he was online, then you can't get attached to it, so...

Post 19 by johndy (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 19-Jan-2016 0:08:30

Can explain that. Looked online, saw what breeders were in the area, went to the breeder, walked in, poodle yadda yadda yadda. big gap between looking online and walking in, but this is sorta lame anyway. cody, aren't you lucky to have had a dog named after you? (Sorry, that probably deserves execution.)

Post 20 by ApplePeaches (If the zone bbs was a drug, I'd need rehab.) on Wednesday, 20-Jan-2016 11:33:56

Well, it does make sense. You can walk into a breeder, have a dog come up
to you, and then you feel that attachment. Looking online isn't when the dog
gets attached. The dog name had nothing to do with Cody. I just like that
name for a dog.

Post 21 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Wednesday, 20-Jan-2016 11:55:57

But the real cody didn't walk in to a petshop and he still got a dog attached to him, so I have to argue that last point. LOL

Post 22 by VioletBlue (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Wednesday, 20-Jan-2016 14:15:13

ROFLMAO, Anthony!

Post 23 by contradiction (aww, I always knew my opinion mattered to you!) on Wednesday, 20-Jan-2016 21:06:29

Thanks for the laugh, Anthony. I truly needed it.

Post 24 by sia fan bp (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 20-Jan-2016 21:16:28

lol, anthonyyy! okay... I don't get it. can someone explain how this is funny?
This supposed story? And, who names a dog Cody? Wow... this made me sad.
Poor doggy.

Post 25 by AgateRain (Believe it or not, everything on me and about me is real!) on Wednesday, 20-Jan-2016 21:21:07

Oh, surely somebody's named their dog Cody, but she didn't that's for sure and lol Anthony, good one.

Post 26 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Thursday, 21-Jan-2016 2:32:34

Want something really funny? I had a cat named Rachel for honest. Check with my vet. And, Rachel92 was on here. That was truely an accident, and would have made more sense. Especially, on the joke board. Or, a sort of: "Now, that's irony!" LOL
That would've made me chuckle
Blessings,
Sarah

Post 27 by CrystalSapphire (Uzuri uongo ndani) on Thursday, 21-Jan-2016 8:11:06

smh